Your Mascara is Running

Her name was Jerry.
Jerry was a fashion design student at the university.
I had seen her around campus.
She was in two of my classes.
I first met Jerry up close when she was trying to fix something on her car.
I offered to help.
Jerry turned wearing a tight fitting shirt and I saw instantly.
Jerry was a man.
In fact a very beautiful man whose mascara was now running down her cheeks in the summer heat.
At first I was taken aback inwardly.
But I knew Jerry picked up on it.
"Sorry. I didn't know." I said meekly.
"It's okay" Jerry responded. "If you don't want to help....I under..."
Jerry never finished that sentence when I nudged by to see into the engine compartment to find the problem.
Old cars are my favorite. What I learned on.
I fixed the coil wire which had come off.
Jerry eyes lit up...."Thank you, Thank you!" suddenly kissing me on the cheek then just as suddenly embarrassed.
I smiled back.
Not the least bit embarrassed.
I never saw Jerry's world or life as unusual.
It was her life...the way she was.....but I did see the side effects....the looks....heard the words behind her back......the snickers.....even outward insults tossed across the campus yard.
Stupid, ignorant, uncaring morons.
The life in a university is suppose to be a time to explore new things.
Here was something new....and this was the treatment of new......industrial strength distain.
Jerry gravitated towards me I guess because I was someone she could trust.
I eventually became guilty by association.
One day I was walking across campus when "HEY YOU QUEER!! YOU WANNA SUCK ME!!" came out of a crowd of the cowboy types. I looked behind me seeing no one else.
"GIRLY BOY.....YOU LIKE MEN!!! DO YOU SUCK HIM OR DOES HE SUCK YOU...Hahahahah" it continued.
I tend to ignore insults. Learned that a long time ago.
It was when my arm was grabbed hard I got defensive.
My hand caught the throat of my grabber instantly. I put the pressure to both sides of his trachea. My intention was to see if I could touch my finger tips to my thumb but I held back feeling him going stiff with a wide eyed fearful look.
"Jerry is my friend....nothing more asshole." I slowly released my grip letting him whimper away. The others back away leaving me facing them.
The others who had apparently walked the same gauntlet of insults.
I joined them in the walk to classes.
I had met a new group of people I had heard of but never really made personal contact with. What fascinated me was their view of life in general. I was even asked by a trans what it was like to be straight.
Did I fantasize about being with another man?? Take one as a lover??
I had to admit it never crossed my mind. I had in Alaska grouped up with three other men to stay warm in the sub zero. We were in our underwear all blanketed up to conserve heat. Spooning can cause things to happen which lead to giggling and awkward apologies. In sub zero you have to do what you have to do to live. It was awkward at first but that was the purpose of the training.
So I told them that story which got some good laughs.
I never felt uncomfortable among folks of the alternative life style or orientation.
However, I am well aware of the harsh treatment they can receive.
Jerry was my friend.
When I came back from my bout with suicide, she was the first to greet me.